In 2006 I was a guest at Octocon (the Irish National Science Fiction Convention), and as a feature on their website I took part in a slightly surreal Q&A session with the convention's co-chairman Randy Shepherd.
Apparently there will be an Octocon in 2007, but so far no details have been released other than the name of the Guest of Honour, writer Alastair Reynolds. I expect that details about the date, location, other guests, events and so on will appear on the Octocon website, hopefully some time before the event itself takes place.
- 42Qs: Michael Carroll, welcome to 42 questions. What is your sign?
MC: My sign is Helix, because I was born in the spring.
- 42Qs: We are excited you are returning as a guest to Octocon. As fans we get the thrill of rubbing
shoulders with writers that we enjoy and appreciate. From the professional's side of things what do
you find exciting about going to a convention?
MC: Getting my shoulders rubbed by the fans! No, the truth is that I consider myself to be a fan too. I love meeting other guests, and I especially love being on panels with people who are way more famous and accomplished than I am but who don't get as many laughs as I do because all my mates are in the audience.
- 42Qs: As a superhero fanboy myself I want to jump right in and ask about your latest book The
Quantum Prophecy which was released in January. Since most people won't see you in person until
October could you tell us a bit about the book and where we can learn more?
MC: It's a young adult adventure novel with the basic premise that there used to be real superheroes, until something - no one knows what - happened and they all disappeared. Ten years after the disappearance, two teenage boys discover that they are developing superhuman abilities of their own. It's tremendous fun so everyone should buy a copy. You can find out lots more about it at www.quantumprophecy.com!
- 42Qs: Are there any sequels planned to The Quantum Prophecy?
MC: Oh yes! I've got a whole series all mapped out. I've just delivered the final draft of the second book (due to be published in October, shortly before Octocon) and I'm about to start the first draft of book three (due for publication in mid-2007).
- 42Qs: If this was a Quentin Tarantino film, now is when we might ask you "the Beatles or Elvis?",
but the real clue into your true personality is the question: Avengers or Justice League?
MC: Justice League can be pretty cool at times, but give me The Avengers any day!
- 42Qs: Cool! At 42Qs we are big Avengers fans too. If you got to pick your dream team of six
Avengers who makes the cut?
MC: Hmm...! Okay, let's see... Firestar, obviously, because she's under-used and very cool. And you can't have Firestar without Justice, so let's have him too. As mentioned above, I'm a big fan of Nova, so let's add him to the list. For that Atlantean connection - plus her incredible strength - we definitely need Namorita. All good teams need a brooding character, plus someone rich enough to bankroll the whole operation, so let's fill both those roles with Night Thrasher! And to round it all off, we'll have that bouncing bundle of kinetic fun, Speedball! (Ten points to anyone who can spot what I've done here!)
- 42Qs: As this or that follow-up chocolate or vanilla?
MC: Er... Depends on whether you're talking about ice cream or body-paint.
- 42Qs: Back to superheroes. A genre commonly associated with the more visual media of comic books
and graphic novels. Was your approach to writing The Quantum Prophecy any different than your prior
novels?
MC: Not really... I applied my usual method: spending ages and ages developing the plot and characters, writing the first draft in a mad frenzy, then rewriting the whole thing several times. However, my approach to the publication was a lot different: I got an agent! Best 10% of my income I ever spent!
- 42Qs: If The Quantum Prophecy was done as a graphic novel do you have a dream team you'd like to
do the art?
MC: I do indeed! I'd like it to be drawn by John Higgins (both pencils and inks). His current work on Thunderbolt Jaxon is absolutely stunning - the best he's ever done. But if John wasn't available, then I'd pick either Carlos Ezquerra, Steve Dillon, Tom Raney, Patrick Zircher, Glenn Fabry or Paul J. Holden (who is currently doing some beautiful stuff on The 86ers for 2000 AD). Or... What the hell, let's go nuts: I want Alex Ross to do fully-painted artwork on it!
- 42Qs: Superhero fans have suffered for years with sparse film offerings and those that were made
being pretty crummy. However, the past few years have been something of a golden age for superhero
films with Spider-Man, X-Men, and Batman Begins all generally well received by fans. Do you have a
favourite superhero you want to see on the silver screen?
MC: Oooh, tough one! There's a lot I'd like to see, but if I had to choose only one... I'd have to pick Nova (that's the proper Richard Rider Nova, not the Frankie Raye Nova who went off with Galactus). Or maybe Hawkeye - he was always my favourite when I was a kid.
- 42Qs: Can we start the rumour here that Quantum Prophecy: The Movie is coming to cinemas
worldwide summer 2008?
MC: What do you mean "rumour"?
- 42Qs: If you could have just one super power what would it be?
MC: Teleportation! Just think of the time it would save! If I was going to America, I could teleport to the airport the required three and a half hours before check-in, do all the necessary business with the tickets and so forth, then teleport home and watch telly for a couple of hours!
- 42Qs: You've just teleported back from the airport after a trip outside Ireland. Where is a
favourite place to visit?
MC: Do you mean a favourite place in Ireland, or a favourite place from which I might have just come back? Either way, I guess my favourite places tend to be comic shops. But only when I have money to spend.
- 42Qs: Best invention of the 20th century?
MC: The toll-booth on the M50 motorway. You can spend hours there for only €1.80 - it's by far the cheapest car park in the whole of Dublin.
- 42Qs: What is your favourite piece of personal technology?
MC: After much consultation with my robot ninja bodyguard on this matter, we have chosen my new DVD recorder. It's got a built-in hard-disk, which means you can record hundreds of hours of telly without ever having to put a disc in the thing.
- 42Qs: It is easy to become jaded about scientific achievements. We can record hundreds of hours of
movies and televisions in a small DVD recorder, ninja robot bodyguards protect our authors, and men
went to the moon, but haven't gone back for 30 years. 42Qs would like to know if there is any
technical accomplishment that after exposure you still find impressive?
MC: The Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, as endorsed by George Formby: it not only cooks your dinner, it also cleans your windows.
- [Note: question and answer deleted because it was a bit rude and wasn't very funny!]
- 42Qs: In isolation tests for a future deep space mission to Alpha Centauri you have to go to a
desert island for 6 months. Basic food and shelter is covered, and you are allowed three personal
items. What do you bring?
MC: A bucket. A spade. The QEII fully stocked and staffed.
- 42Qs: They'll be serving you nutritious, but not very tasty astronaut gruel on the island. What
food will you miss the most?
MC: Pizza. Especially my favourite, Domino's Giant Boat-Shaped Waterproof Pizza.
- 42Qs: Part of your training will include a 24-hour exploration of any planet in our solar system.
Where do you go?
MC: Assuming that somehow I wouldn't die from the intense heat and gravity, I'd quite like to go paddling on the surface of the sun.
- 42Qs: The SpaceShipOne group won the X Prize for repeatable private commercial space flight. The Y
Prize for a private commercial space station is open. Place your bet on the first fast food
franchise in orbit. McDonald's, Burger King or your local chipper
MC: Harry Ramsden's Fission Chips.
- 42Qs: Many would say laughter is an essential part of the human condition, or it is supposed to be
the best medicine anyway. Tell us a joke please.
MC: A man goes to the doctor suffering from terrible flatulence, but after less than a minute the doctor asks him to leave. "Sorry," the doctor says, "you have to go - the smell is just too bad."
"But you have to help me!" the man pleads.
"Sorry, I can't help you, you'll have to see a specialist." With one hand over his mouth and nose, he scribbles a name and address down on a piece of paper. "Go and see this man - he knows all about flatulence. I'm certain that he can cure you. I have to warn you, though, his methods are a little unorthodox."
"I don't care," the man says. "I'm desperate. I'll try anything!"
So he goes to see the specialist...
"Well," the specialist says, "you've got the worst case of flatulence I've ever encountered. But I can help you, if you trust me."
"Of course," the man says. "Whatever it takes."
"Okay," says the specialist. He gets up and retrieves a six-foot-long pole from behind the door. The pole has a large, wicked-looking brass hook on the end.
The man almost faints. "Oh my God! What are you going to do?"
"Well first," the specialist says, "I'm going to open some windows..."
- 42Qs: The old adage to avoid arguments is "Never discuss politics, sex or religion" in polite
company. If you could remove one topic from that list and replace it with something else what would
they be
MC: I'd remove "discuss" and replace it with "perform".
- 42Qs: You are having a fantasy dinner party. Invite 7 guests living or dead.
MC: Stan Lee, Brian Michael Bendis, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, John Wagner, Joss Whedon. That's only six places: The seventh place would be auctioned on eBay.
- 42Qs: If you could go back in time to change something does it screw up our timeline or create an
alternate timeline where the new event occurred
MC: Neither. See, most people don't understand anything about the true nature of time. They believe that the past is fixed and immutable, while the future is fluid. The truth is that it's the other way around. The future is fixed and immutable. The future is "stuff that's going to happen." So whatever happens is whatever was always going to happen. There's nothing anyone can do to change that. The past is one that's fluid. You only have to look at the history books, and compare them with the history books that were written, say, fifty years ago, to see how fluid the past is.
- 42Qs: Well, with a fluid past, say you were given the opportunity to make one of the following
changes: Either reverse the Fox network's decision to cancel Firefly or remove Jar Jar Binks from
our time stream. Which one
MC: I'd definitely reinstate Firefly, which I loved. Annoying as Jar Jar Binks is, he wasn't the ruination of The Phantom Menace. No, what ruined that movie was the fact that it was a two-hour-long toy commercial. Besides, the Star Wars series peaked with The Empire Strikes Back. It has drama, humour, adventure, excitement... Return of the Jedi has a musical number and a teddy-bears' picnic. Besides, it's always easier to ignore something you don't like than cope with the loss of something you did like. Or to put it another way: Jar Jar can be banished with the press of a button on the remote control: such a thing will not bring back Firefly!
- 42Qs: And speaking of fluid, what is your favourite beverage
MC: That would be Barrie Humphries, otherwise known as Dame Edna Beverage.
- 42Qs: Okay... last time travel question: If you could visit in any century prior to the 20th which
one would it be and why
MC: I'd probably choose the late 15th or early 16th century, so that I could meet Leonardo da Vinci. But no... That would be dangerous! He'd probably take one look at my time machine and figure out how it worked, then he'd build his own and preinvent lots of things before their time, thus screwing up the time-line! Imagine what would happen if da Vinci managed to invent the parachute or the submarine or the helicopter... Er... Hold on a second...
- 42Qs: You mentioned above the comparison of history books written 50 years apart, what about
artists that revise history? For instance George Lucas altered Star Wars to have Han Solo shoot
first in the cantina scene with Greedo. A quite different scene revised 20 years after the
widely-seen original film. Does the artist have any obligation to the viewer in regards to the
consistency of a work over time
MC: Those of us who are old enough to remember Star Wars the first time around will almost certainly remember every kid in the cinema cheering when Han shot first. It was a defining moment: here, for possibly the first time in a kids' movie, was a genuine anti-hero! This is the reason we all preferred Han to Luke! And then George grew up a little and decided that this was too violent... What a wuss! He should have left it alone! I don't mind him tinkering with little stuff like removing all the matt lines and beefing up the sound, but that was a character moment!
- 42Qs: That last question was a bit serious, so we'll go a bit more light-hearted with this one.
Katherine Hepburn was once famously asked in an interview "what kind of tree" she would be. 42Qs
still thinks that's one of the goofiest questions ever asked. Right up there with "where do you get
your ideas from?" So what kind of tree would you be...Seriously.
MC: Oh for crying out loud! I just knew there was going to be a question like this in here somewhere!
All right, then... I'd be the actor Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree. Apart from the fact that he was the half-brother of the cartoonist Max Beerbohm, I don't know much about him, but I'm assuming that he was at least human.
- 42Qs: Why is it that 99% of the aliens in the Star Trek universe are only different in appearance
from humans by skin tone or cosmetic changes to their forehead or nose bridge?
MC: And even though they all evolved on different planets, the aliens tend to be human-sized, too! Annoying, isn't it? I heard once that this was because almost all of the humanoid races in the galaxy were "seeded" by some master race. Tosh!
I've never been too comfortable with the idea of humanoid aliens, even in books. I much prefer the future as presented by Harry Harrison in his "Breakdown" novels: there are no aliens, there are only people. This is how it's done in two of my favourite SF shows: Firefly and - so far - the new incarnation of Battlestar Galactica.
- 42Qs: If we can trouble you for one more thing about Star Trek... What's up with the holodeck? The
thing was more dangerous than most planets they visited. Were the writers just cheating by keeping
an "any setting is possible" device onboard or is there something more nefarious at work?
MC: I don't know if it was cheating, but it was certainly lazy. However, I do find it nicely poetic that the holodeck could be used to create, say, a barrel of goodies, and it could keep refilling that barrel so that they never had to scrape the bottom of it.
- 42Qs: Most writers seem to have a list of pre-writing jobs that run a wide gamut. Now we don't want
to see your resume, but could you share a zany tale from those days or some insight into human
nature you picked up from one of those jobs.
MC: Okay: this is a long one, but it's completely true:
Shortly after my sixteenth birthday, I left school and became a Junior Postman. The job involved delivering telegrams and Express Letters. It was not a great job, to be honest. In fact, it was horrible. One of the really, really annoying things about it - and there were many - was that telegrams were paid for by the word, and the address was included in the word count. Naturally, many telegram senders were therefore rather frugal with the addresses: "Seamus Murphy, Dalkey." We'd have to cycle out to all the Seamus Murphys (or should that be "Murphies"?) in Dalkey - and there were dozens of them - and see if they were expecting a telegram. What was even trickier was that we were not allowed to know the contents of the telegrams, nor the names of the senders. Plus, it was usually raining.
The single most annoying thing that happened was the time when I spent hours cycling up and down a very long, incredibly steep road (Killiney Hill Road, for those who know the area) looking for one of those houses that have names but no number. That happened a lot, but what made this particular time all the more annoying was that the guy who was transcribing the telegrams that day had the worst handwriting in the world. I could read the name of the road, but that was all. I had to stop at every house and see whether the number of letters in the house's name matched the number of letters scrawled on the telegram's envelope. After about two hours, I thought I'd found it: a house with the right number of letters. There had been lots of others with the right number of letters, but I'd eliminated them all one-by-one and this was the only remaining possibility. Unfortunately, I couldn't be sure it was the right house because the name-plate on the huge gates was lovingly carved in a very ornate and complex script that I couldn't actually read.
So there I was, undecipherable address on the telegram with an undecipherable name on the gate. It had to be a match! I rang the bell, and - after a long wait - the door was finally opened by a tall, posh-looking gent. I explained who I was, what the situation was, and showed him the envelope. He couldn't understand was it said either, but was pretty sure it wasn't for him. I asked him what the name of his house was, just for future reference. He looked puzzled, and pointed to the nameplate over the door. There, in plain clear English, was "St. Mary's" or "St. John's" - something completely normal. As I was leaving, I took another look at the ornate script on the sign on the gate - because I knew it didn't match the name above the door. It was then that I realised that if you ignored all the serifs and scrolling and other fancy bits, and squinted really, really hard, you could just about make out that the sign on the gate read "No Parking."
- 42Qs: Best ever Saturday morning cartoon?
MC: Marine Boy! Partly because I thought it was really cool, but mostly because it's pretty much the only one I can remember.
- 42Qs: The writer Gregg Easterbrook has a theory that all successful science fiction TV
shows/movies have the word "star" somewhere in the title. I.e., Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate,
Battlestar Galactica. Any thoughts? And if you could go back and insert "star" into a failed series
to make it a success what would it be?
MC: Mr Easterbrook's theory might be an explanation for the failure of Enterprise (though I suspect that the real reason the show failed was because the creators spent too much time indulging in their favourite hobby: using a big stick to take swipes at a deceased stallion), but aside from that, the theory doesn't really stand up, ignoring as it does such successful shows as Doctor Who, The X-Files, Farscape, Babylon 5, Quantum Leap, Smallville and many more.
- 42Qs: When it comes to writing what is a day like for you? Total isolation, music playing, pets
running wild?
MC: The average day begins about 10:00. I work straight through until Leonia gets home, usually about 18:00. After she goes to bed around 23:00, I get back to work and keep going until about 04:00. I tend to take it a little easier at the weekends - rarely more than eight hours a day - unless I'm working on a first draft, at which times I lose all concept of the real world and have to be reminded to do things like eat and sleep.
When I'm developing a book (plotting, research, working on the characters, etc.) I often listen to music. I've put almost all of my CDs and LPs onto the PC, so I've got about 5,000 tracks from which I can pick and choose. I'll listen to almost any kind of music, except jazz, "trad" music, or that most godawful thing in the universe, cabaret lounge music (especially the ultra-smug "Dean Martin in Vegas" drunken crooning... Makes my blood boil!).
- 42Qs: Did you get advice on developing this style or did it emerge over time?
MC: It just happened. I find that I get more work done in the five or so hours at night than the eight hours during the day because (a) the phone doesn't ring, (b) the ice-cream man doesn't tootle his way up and down the road, and (c) the kids on the street have generally stopped playing football in our driveway by that stage.
- 42Qs: Are there any authors who have had an influence on your writing style or inspired you to
become a writer?
MC: Dozens of 'em! Harry Harrison is my all-time favourite writer. I started reading his books after The Stainless Steel Rat was serialised in 2000 AD, back in 1979. I'd always wanted to write SF, but it was only after discovering Harry's books that I realised that good SF isn't about technology: it's about people.
Michael Scott was also a big inspiration: I first met him at Octocon 2 in 1991, and when I told him that I wanted to be a writer, he challenged me to stop talking about writing, and start doing it. So I did.
As for influence on the style... Occasionally I'll read something that makes me go "Oh, that's cool!" - such as Bugs by John Sladek. That one very definitely had an influence! Bob Shaw once made a huge impact on my writing - without even knowing it, I suspect. I interviewed him about fifteen years ago and he mentioned that early in his career he read a pulp crime novel in which the protagonist was described thus: "He wasn't very good-looking, but girls liked him anyway." Right there, in only a handful of words, the writer created a character with whom all the readers would be able to identify!
- 42Qs: We know your sign, favourite foods, places, superpower, etc., but we would truly be remiss
if we didn't find out your favourite colour.
MC: Favourite colour? I'm not five, you know! Anyway, it's not really fair to ask a man that question, since our colour spectrum is smaller than the female colour spectrum. Women have the ability to see all sorts of extra colours that are invisible to men, like mauve and navy and turquoise.
- 42Qs: While we are still awaiting the construction of a nanotube space elevator maybe you would
tell us about your most interesting elevator ride?
MC: And you thought the tree question was dumb? Okay then... My most interesting elevator rides took place at the end of February, in the New Yorker Hotel, in Manhattan. Our room was on the thirty-first floor, which was so high that every time we travelled in the elevator our ears popped. Not staggeringly interesting, I grant you... Though one time the elevator was pretty crowded as we were getting on, and I deliberately broke one of the primary rules of elevator etiquette: I didn't turn around to face the door. Instead, I faced all the other passengers, and smiled at them. It's a sure-fire way to make a thirty-floor vertical journey extremely uncomfortable for a whole bunch of strangers.
- 42Qs: Since as all Douglas Adams' fans know that 42 is the answer, and we are still trying to
determine the question, is there anything you'd like the readers of this interview to ponder? We'll
make their answers due at Octocon.
MC: When Judge Dredd is running down a corridor, how come his badge chain doesn't go "clinky-clinky-clinky" and give away his position to the bad guys?
- 42Qs: Thanks for answering our 42 questions, Michael! Here is the last one: PI.r^2 gives us the
area of a circle. To fill that circle what is your favourite pie?
MC: Um... Tree and Elevator Crumble.